Pitch Wars opens this next Monday (the 27th) – or the submissions open. I’ve narrowed my list of mentors to four (STRESSFUL). I had a list, but then the mentors posted wish lists and talked more about what they would like to see, and I re-did my list.
And I’m beyond stressed about it – what if I pick the wrong mentor? What if the right mentor doesn’t see my MS and I don’t get a chance? What if I am one name away from tumbling into the traditional world of publishing and I miss it?
And, I’ve started a new job (STRESSFUL). I am officially an English Instructor! It’s only one class, part-time, but it is a start. The first day went by great, and I think I might be able to do this for a living. I mean, as a day job (because if I cease to write, I cease to exist.)
And… I’ve been trying so hard to break into publishing. And the whole “pouring my heart and soul and free time into a story only to be rejected by every agent” wears down on the ambition after a while. I mean, I had high hopes for Stars and Bones, and it’s been rejected nearly at every turn. (I’ve got a few strands of hope left.) And I don’t know how much more of this rejection thing I can take.
It might sound silly, but I feel as though Hard as Stone (title tentative) is my last chance at the agent market. I don’t want to be a self-published writer forever. I want the validation that I’m good enough to be on the shelves beside the big names.
I could do it. I just need to get my foot in the door. (Maybe not all of my ambition is dampened XD)
All this stress has me drinking more than usual, too. I’m not at the drunk level. I mean, a mixed drink every night isn’t bad, right? Now, when it’s a bottle of wine every night 😉
Beatrice B. Morgan 